Wednesday, June 02, 2010

A bit of veiled conceit: Chaudhary-Warren*

Sometimes, an announcement appears to be written in English, but needs a little translation to actually make sense. Witness the mild hipster** love of Dimple Chaudhary and Previn Warren.

I don't have the energy to lay this out properly, and these two don't really deserve any filleting. It's not like they cheated on their previous spouses together then ran off to Italy. Instead, I'll just reprint sections of the vows, along with my asides and translation.

In November 2005, Dimple Chaudhary was happily single, but wasn’t against getting her feet wet, that is, leaving before breakfast.

“I’m always struck by her vivaciousness and good humor,” (her friend) Ms. Larson said, "I also plan on remaining her friend, so what else would I say?"

The next morning, while going for coffee in Park Slope, Ms. Larson saw a good-looking fellow across the street. They made eye contact, but he wasn't into her and so they kept walking. Next thing she knew, she was running toward him. “Sir! Excuse me! I have this friend. ... ”

This section is the reason I wanted to write about this announcement:
Mr. Warren, who was living in Park Slope, gave his number to Ms. Larson, who immediately called Ms. Chaudhary, who also lived in the neighborhood.

Her first thought? “Ax murderer,” Ms. Chaudhary said of her friend’s catch. “It was adorable that she ran after him, but you never know. He was just some guy!”

Her second thought? He said he was 23 — three years her junior. “In New York there’s this idea of prolonged youth,” she said, noting that most men of that age “want to date lots of girls, and I felt I wanted to build something with someone.”

Ms. Chaudhary spent days weighing the pros and cons of calling. “I finally decided it was one of those neighborhood-y things,” she said. “I mean, it’s not like something that would happen in Midtown.”

The reason I wanted to blog this vows was because this part of the announcement doesn't make any sense.

1. Ax[e] murderer, who lives in Park Slope? I'm not a New Yorker, but my impression is that Park Slope is basically the nicest neighborhood in New York, if not the U.S. People on the street there are liable to be quality, not axe murderers. There is also somewhat of a man-woman thing here. Guy approaches a girl on the street - could be weird (but it happens in NYTWCA fairly often***). Girl approaches guy on the street, he's liable to be receptive. Girl's friend approached a guy on the street, has spoken to him, so he's pre-vetted as a non-obvious axe murderer (and is there any other kind).

2.Prolonged youth nonsense... eh. One can figure that out.

3. Days deciding? Maybe.

4. Neighborhoody thing? I suppose 34th and Park isn't quite midtown. This seems over-determined. Read on:

“I’m glad you called,” he said when he answered. They arranged to meet at a Prospect Heights dive bar of her choosing.

Here's what I'm thinking. She decided to blow him off completely. Then, she got drunk, started complaining to Ms. Larson, and Ms. Larson called the groom on the bride's cell phone and put the phone in her hand. That would explain the delay, and the preposterous post-facto reasons. It also puts this in a much more interesting context:
She dialed, praying it would go to voice mail.

*: Veiled Conceit concept, or at least blogging, originated by Zach of

**: "But, p.e.", you say, "how do you know they're hipsters?" I'll tell you. I induce it from the following. 1. They live in Brooklyn, capital of American Hipsterdom. 2. Unnatural fascination with dive bars. 3. Explicit disowning of 'tatooed 30 year olds who've spent the decade perfecting being 21,' i.e. hipsters (as hipsters will always disavow being hipsters, often on preposterous and narrow grounds). 4. Pizza as an after-proposal meal. 5. For that matter proposing in LAX terminal 5. 6. Vintage Checker cab instead of limo. 6 1/2. Wrote own stupid vows. (does not really count, everyone does it). 7. Guy with whiskers, girl who likes guys with whiskers (may not really count - cultural thing? am _I_ racially profiling?). 8. Two 'funny' mentions of racial profiling within a single short entry (Is this really a hipster behavior? It's extraordinarily preening and annoying, so, YES). 9. The bride makes pottery.

***: Since I'm trying to not infringe, I didn't quote the bit from the begining about flagging down a mate like you flag down a cab, but the choice seems unfortunate given the cab-flagging-driven romance featured 3 weeks previous.

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