Fiddle: What do you think is the greatest crisis facing the survival of humanity today?
I: Well, it's not terrorism. On a personal scale, global terrorism is like waking up in the morning and realizing you can't have a bagel because you're out of cream cheese.
Fiddle: I've thought of terrorism as being like Paris Hilton.
I: And Osama bin Laden is Paris Hilton's nipples - popping in and out of view and always garnering far more publicity than they deserve.
All conversations approximate.