Friday, June 10, 2005

Bad news on the medical front III

I haven't had a single medical class yet, and already I'm acting like a doctor. I told my uncle (the one from BNOTMF1) that he should look into taking two more drugs - just pulled them out of my ass. I know like, 10 drugs - what are the odds that I know one, much less two, that will help him, especially absent anything other than talking to him?

Second, I suggested that two of my other family members might have some kind of social anxiety disorder, and recommended that they consult with mental health professionals (while hinting that drugs could 'make them better').

Third, I have been getting giddy about my white coat ceremony. Some things, they celebrate when you leave, like graduation. For medicine, they celebrate when you show up. They put on a big pseudo-religious (or religious) ceremony, administer the hippocratic oath and symbolically induct you into the priesthood with your white coat (the modern oath is a bit more PC).

With all my heart, I realize I should just forget about it, collect my white coat when necessary and get on with my life. But then I said, "don't I want to meet my classmates?" Of course! And what better opportunity? (Don't answer that). So I was like, "Oh, I'll invite my mom!" (She'll be in town, moving me in). And then I got an admitted student mailer, and they're like "You can invite up to five people - they get really nice invitations." And I'm thinking, "cool, nice invitations." By they way, my institution claims* to have invented the white coat ceremony, so you just know it's going to be overblown.

Then I spent all afternoon trying to figure out if I want a size 38 or a 40, and whether I should get long, or standard size. Yeesh. The final answer, by the way, is 38 long. Why? 1) I'm probably not going to be wearing the coat over my winter jacket and 2) When I was a little kid, I always wanted a cape. In fact, my entire fascination with science and medicine might be traced to the fact that these people get to wear cape-like things every day as a matter of course. A longer 'cape' enhances the super-hero experience. Although, if I were to pick a super power, it would be "making people do whatever I want by scratching them behind the ears"** as opposed to, "pushing drugs."

** We're going to have a facebook, and one of the questions was, "What super power would you have, and what would your name be." I'm 'catnip' if you must know. It was either that or have the super power of always having tea no matter what, and the tea is really good (I was going to call myself, 'The Teabagger' so this one obviously wins on the name). Seriously.

* This is getting it's own post, as it sprawls into a larger issue.

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